Two of our guests have a paranoia about spiders. When they went on their honeymoon in Hawaii the new husband went into the washroom in the middle of the night and as he was using the facilities he felt something touching the top of his head. Thinking it was a spider he freaked out and was moving around like he was doing the twist. When he eventually looked up he noticed that it was a string that was hanging down from the light bulb.
Crawling back into bed after he had made quite a mess of the washroom and himself his wife says to him “what is that mildew like smell”? He replied, "don’t worry about it sweat heart, tomorrow I will get us out of here." The following morning he went to speak to the hostess and explained to her that his new wife had an allergy and they needed to find somewhere else blaming it on the room. When he turned around he noticed his new bride standing behind him not yet realizing what had happened and was a little confused at his story.
While studying at his university our guest rented a room at a house where the landlord was a marijuana grower and user. Joe had a friend who stopped by and did some laundry while visiting him. On his return to the UK Joe's friends luggage was inspected by customs because after using the owners dryer his clothes had a marijuana aroma on it and the airport drug dog had picked this up.
This is a story that was told to our guest through their friend.
This couple went on holiday to BC. While they were there a neighbor went jogging and noticed their front door was open. When they went in the place was a mess. Wallpaper was ripped off of the walls, baseboard and carpeting was all over the floor. They went in and called the police to report the B&E. When the owners arrived home they were greeted by the neighbor who told them they had reported to the police that the home was broken into. After telling them the story they informed the neighbor who made the report that they are in the middle of renovating their house and that is why it looks the way it is and it wasn't broken into.
Motto of this Story
Do not leave home unless it is organized and clean!
Our guests father was very young at heart. When he was 84 years old his grandchildren would always ask to go visit him so they watch him throw plums off of the 8th story balcony at people on the street to see their reactions.
While visiting an all inclusive resort with their spouses the ladies went to the washroom after enjoying quite a few drinks. When they were away their husbands tied their straws into knots and put them back into the drinks.
When cooking fresh fish after catching it in a lake the husband would always leave on the fish's head. His wife would be disgusted by this and ask him to remove it. After removal he would tease their cat by putting the fish's face up to the cats and opening the fishes mouth and biting the cat's on the nose.
As a child our guest was walking along a beach where the people who were on it were all passed out drunk sun bathing. He went up to each one and applied some stickers to their foreheads.
One of our guests brother had a summer job in K-mart and definitely was not a morning person. He was given a job to price check store items at 6 am. Around 7 am the manager was making the rounds and found him asleep in the middle of a pile of pillows. Mom just found out now 15 years later.
Our guests grandma was getting a little absent minded. One day she was helping her to find her eye glasses, a book and some socks. They looked everywhere for them without any luck. As she went to the refrigerator to get a drink she opened the door and there was the items they were looking for.
Serving at a local wild game feed our guest was carrying a plate full of food past this lady who's hair was full of hair spray. As she went by she twisted sideways spilling vinegar from the plate onto the ladies hair. To her horror she noticed that the vinegar had neutralized the hairspray and the ladies hair was going in a hundred different directions.
Working his way through university making a trip from the freezer with a bottle of champagne as he was trying to open it the bottle slipped from his grip hitting the floor on its' flat making a fine spray across the whole table. Needless to say that there wasn't much of a tip that night.